I think a really cool name for a superhero would be That Guy. "Hey, who saved all these kids from that burning bus?" "It was That Guy! He's my hero!" "What guy? That guy over there?" "No, That Guy! THE That Guy!" "Now you're just not making any sense."
The Hokey Pokey is NOT what it's all about!
Why do law enforcement officials always say to criminals that "the jig is up!"? I'll bet the phrase has its origins in some ancient land where dancing was illegal. Yes, people who were simply enjoying an innocent jig were considered criminals! And why? Because of one man. Their ruler, their dictator. The man without rhythm. King Cruel, the non-dancing fool. Oh foul king, why must you take away the only thing that brings your people happiness? But then the king died and everything was good. The peasants rejoiced. They did a little jig.
I understand how most things work. There are little gnomes that pop up the next Kleenex, television sets have little men inside that draw a bunch of pictures really, really fast, and a computer's basic functions have something to do with hundreds of tiny little hamsters on wheels. But, there's one thing I just don't get. Where does the toast come from, and what the hell happened to the bread!?
My life is nothing but an inescapable pit of depression. An unending fall into despair. A...hey, an unfinished Twinkie! *munch* Wut wuz I toggin aboud?
They say the world will end, not with a bang, but a whimper. *whimper* Hmm, guess not.
If it were possible, through genetic splicing, to make a coconut with monkey legs and arms and a tail, that would bounce around and go "eep! eep!" and climb stuff, but could still be milked for that sweet coconutty goodness... well then. I think that would put all those morality of genetic engineering issues to rest.
If I had a time machine, I'd grab my "Little Magician's Magic Kit (ages 4 and up)", set the course for the middle ages, and totally steal Merlin's job.
If I had an army, I'd make the uniforms pink. Cause I think that would be really funny. Er, strategic, I mean, cause they'd underestimate the men, and stuff. Heehee. Camo-pink.
What's that you say? You want more? Well then, check the archives.