Bought a new suit the other day. A timeless three button number, black with pinstripes, with a dark red tie and a snakeskin belt. It's more money than I've spent on my wardrode the last five years combined, but at least now I don't have to worry about having the appropriate formal wear. I'm set now, for my various social events. Like, the annual Policeman's Ball. And, um, the grocery store.
If trees could think, I wonder what they would think about. Probably something like "I'll make the world a pyre for the unrighteous." Trees are crazy like that.
Life is like a Journey. It's a jazz rock outfit that debuted in 1973 and had several unsuccessful albums until they got a new vocalist and released a platinum album in 1978. And, uh, you never know where the next turn will take you.
What would the world be like if not for computers? How would we communicate? How would we organize and store information? My theory is an elaborate system involving Post-It Notes and clotheslines.
They say that every time you learn something new you get a wrinkle in your brain. Interestingly, soaking a human brain in brine and leaving it in a jar to pickle will have the same effect. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Eat lots of pickles.
You know those online journals written by teeny boppers that seem to have lol in every single sentence? Lol isn't really a word, it's an acronym (meaning laugh out loud), but they still capitalize it when they start a sentence with it, which isn't really proper grammar either, but I digress. The real point is, why all the lol? Is it that funny? Here's a sample.
If you're ever imprisoned on the Planet of the Apes, don't try and bribe the guard with a banana, cause that's a stereotype and they don't appreciate it.
There were these nicely dressed business type guys talking about stock options and capital and investment stuff at this coffee shop the other day. I wanted to sound like I knew what I was talking about so I interjected with "You know, I hear the real money's in gay porn." For some reason they had to move to another table after that.
They say love makes the world go round. Love has it's ups and downs. People fall in love. I think some people may have love confused with gravity.
It really is a shame we drove the Wooly Mammoth to extinction. If not for that, the Hair Club for Men might be more affordable. In fact, you could get a free Meat of the Month membership with it, as part of the Wooly Bully special.
Matty told Hatty about a thing she saw. Had two big horns and a wooly jaw. Wooly bully, wooly bully. Wooly bully, wooly bully, wooly bully.