The other day I received a phone call at three in the morning because the place I work at was broken into, and the alarm went off. The glass was shattered and there was a very large rock, which possibly had not so unrealistic aspirations of being a boulder. The police interrogated the rock for hours, but they got nothing. They suspect there may have been an accomplice, possibly a shrub. I feel better knowing the professionals are on the case.
Conversations had whilst drunk: "You know, you take it for granted usually. Always count on it being there, but then when it's gone..." "Take what for granted?" "Equilibrium."
"I love you man!" "No, I love you man!" "No really, I love you man!" "Will you buy me a beer?" "Screw you man!"
"Has it ever occurred to you that we're drunk all the time, and it's only when we raise our blood alcohol level to dangerous levels that we actually realize it?" "Wow, man. That's really deep." "Yeah...I think I might vomit."
I'd definitely have to say the most erotic part of the body is the genitals. I think everyone that says they like ears and elbows are full of crap.
Sometimes I like to make things interesting for the recycling guy. When he comes to pick up the recyclables, he doesn't just find a box full of paper, glass and aluminum. On the very top of the box, each week, I have one intricately and painstakingly crafted puzzle of all three elements. He has to figure out how to get the aluminum can out of the glass bottle, and remove the paper which blocks the way without ripping it to shreds. Like those things you buy where you have to seperate the rings. It must take hours. But when he finishes, he's rewarded with not just one, but three pieces of recyclable material to sort into their seperate bins. I'm sure he enjoys the intellectual challenge, even though he seemed to be giving me the finger last week. I'm thinking what must have happened is he was checking for wind direction. Go onward noble captain, sail atop your steel vessel, down the back lane to adventure!
One cool thing about being a physicist is if you discover something, you get to name it. Like quarks. If there weren't already such thing as quarks, that's probably what I would have named my discovery. I mean, come on. Quark. I don't know why some people don't get the attraction of physics.
Laundry day. What a day. Seperating the whites from all the other colours. Putting them in segregated laundry bins. Wait, I just realized something. Laundry day is just like early mid-20th century america. With the segregated restaurants and buses and whatnot. The whites are all seperate, kept to themselves. I wonder what other major historical eras have parallels in housecleaning? Wiping out the mildew in the shower. Disinfecting, or purging, if you will. Like the Holocaust, ethnic cleansing. Doing the dishes, it's like a metaphor for...um, more cleansing? Actually, maybe there's only those two comparisons. I thought maybe I'd discovered an incredible revelation about how we view human history. Oh well, I'd better go dust.
Tlhings to do before I die: See a real flea circus, get on a reality tv show, conquer a country, spend a few months as a city's dark protector, find the secret to immortality. I could probably skip the reality tv show, but if it came down to immortality or the flea circus, I'd have to choose the latter. Who wants to live forever in a world without flea circuses?
Sorry it couldn't work out between us. But we'll always have Paris...and the archives.